Bad Wrestling: What makes it bad, The line between dumb fun/just plain dumb and The objective/subjective nature of it all

Much like any other entertainment medium, professional wrestling has its highs and lows. Some parts are universally loved and become timeless, while others are instantly derided and become the entertainment quality of curdled milk. But what makes professional wrestling "bad," for lack of a better word? What characteristics does it take for it to become an eternally-burning dumpster fire? I've often pondered these questions, as well as when it's "so bad, it's good" vs. "so bad it's fucking awful" and whether bad/good wrestling just boils down to the fans' personal taste. But rather than go on meandering, let's actually break it down (insert crotch chop here) and see what truly makes professional wrestling "bad."

The Qualities

So obviously we all have our reasons for why we consider some pro wrestling "bad." There are certain aspects of it that make up why we think a certain match/angle/etc. is the equivalent of a fresh skid mark on an old pair of tighty-whiteys. While I'm sure there are a plethora of reasons for why us fans don't like certain parts of wrestling, there seems to be three prevalent aspects we look to provide our reasoning: In-Ring Quality, The Story and Overall Effort.

In-Ring Quality

So obviously in-ring work is crucial to most wrestling fans. After all, if the competitors involved can't entertain between the ropes, then what's the point? When it comes to poor in-ring quality, I feel like there are two distinct fields of it: Talent who are either A) Past their prime or B) Generally incompetent. Warrior vs. Hogan at Halloween Havoc 98 is a perfect example of the former. These two men (especially Warrior) peaked around the early 90s in terms of in-ring work. As we neared the Second Millenium, it was clear neither man could perform the way they used to. As a result, we get a grueling 14-minute affair of clunky rest holds and a botched fireball. While both men were in good physical shape at the time, to say they were athletically limited at this stage in their careers is like saying water is wet or Part IV: The Final Chapter is the best film in the Friday the 13th franchise; it's insultingly obvious. Both competitors couldn't hang like they used to (which isn't saying much as far as Warrior is concerned); because of this, they produced a dry dog turd of a match.

But sometimes garbage in-ring quality isn't because the performers are far from their glory days, shells of the wrestlers they used to be. Sometimes it's because the competitors are so blantantly incompetent that watching them attempt a collar-and-elbow tie-up is the pain equivalent to a session of aluminum can fleshlight fucking. While in-ring skills are often times subjective, or other times just not important for some wrestling fans, there's a small patch of shitty wrestling that escapes the boundaries of subjectivity; a patch where everyone can agree what they're watching absolutely sucks.

I have a hard time finding examples of matches like these, because as I said before wrestling is as subjective as any other form of media. Some want goofy fun while others want intense, dramatic affairs. But one that comes to mind is Jenna Morasca vs Sharmell at TNA's Victory Road 09. Neither competitor involved in this match were "wrestlers" by any stretch of the imagination, and this was apparent from the get-go. This wasn't a wrestling match so much as a competition between who's a more inept performer, as both Morasca and Sharmell put together some of the worst in-ring offense I've ever seen. Slaps to the face completely whiffed, lock-ups were incredibly loose and pinfall attempts were done with such little effort it's as if they weren't taught to them at all.

SERIOUSLY. JUST FUCKING LOOK AT THAT. But fortunately, they kept this painful affair relatively short, clocking in around the 6-minute mark. In all honesty, I couldn't think of a better example of sheer in-ring incompetency. And while I'm sure there's an example of a match that features wrestlers who are both past their prime of relevancy AND genuinely incompetent performers, I shudder to find such an example.

The Story

It's no secret that professional wrestling is the equivalent of a Sly and Arnie soap opera. Muscular men exuding machismo, involving themselves in ridiculous and overly dramatic storylines; it's our equivalent to Days Of Our Lives or General Hospital, if either of those two shows involved the characters bashing each other's brains in with steel chairs. And while as wrestling fans, we're used to the most absurd shit happening in our favorite medium, there are times where the story is either poorly executed or insulting in its subject matter, we can't help but scoff at it.

One such example is the Katie Vick storyline between HHH and Kane. Since I'm sure most of you are familiar with it, I'll keep this brief. After successfully defending the Tag Team Titles single-handedly on RAW one night, HHH came out and asked if the name "Katie Vick" rang a bell. He then proceeded to claim Kane killed her. From there, it took an immediate nosedive; Kane was accused of committing necrophilia, HHH committed necrophilia, someone got an enema wearing a HHH mask, etc. The angle didn't even last a month before dying a much-deserved death, its corpse being an offensive, terrible little footnote in the annals of WWE lore.

While some storylines are digusting and offensive, others are just terribly executed and are seemingly done in order to bury one of the individuals involved. One such example is the Alexa Bliss/Bayley feud from last year. Bayley has always been portrayed as an affable, fun-loving babyface whose character provided an example to the fans that if you work hard and believe in yourself, your dreams can come true. Naturally, playing the despicable heel, Bliss worked endlessly to mock Bayley and criticize the fans for believing in such a seemingly childish person. This shone through with the "Bayley, This Is Your Life!" segment on an episode of RAW. 

Much like The Rock/Mankind segment almost twenty years earlier, Bliss brought out several people from Bayley's past, who talked down on Bayley. Through a combination of poor writing and worse acting from the participants involved, Bayley was portrayed as an inept and immature womanchild incapable of growing up. This led to their Kendo Stick On A Pole match at Extreme Rules 2017. Trust me when I tell you the less I say about that match, the better.

No words are necessary. Why I provide this as example of bad storylines in wrestling is quite simple, really: The Execution. See, normally in a wrestling storyline, the dynamic between the face and the heel should go as follows: heel besmirches face, face defends themselves and one party comes out on top with the loser still looking strong in the process. This angle failed to do that and then some. At no point during this feud did Bayley look at all strong, or at the very least capable of being strong. From beginning to end, she was booked to be absolutely weak, with Bliss being the sole participant to get over in the feud. This feud is another reason why so many people are quick to judge WWE's Creative Team these days. The sheer ineptitude and lack of quality control behind it is simply astounding.

Overall Effort

Even if the story is ludicrous and the in-ring quality isn't up to par, there's at least some decency salvaged if both competitors involved are giving it their full effort and doing their best to create a halfway-okay product. But every once in a while, we'll two competitors giving absolutely zero shits about being even remotely entertaining. Even though I don't have many examples of this off the top of my head, the one that immediate comes to mind is Brock Lesnar vs. Goldberg at WrestleMania 20.

This should've absolute money, and it certainly appeared so on paper. These were two juggernauts of wrestling who absolutely steam-rolled their in almost no-time flat; Goldberg with the Spear and Jackhammer, Lesnar with the F-5. Seeing these two powerhouse in the ring at the same time, it should've been an absolute delight. Then we heard the news; both men were leaving the company after their 'Mania match. Goldberg's contract was a short-term one, and above all else, he was dissatisfied with how WWE had been using him. Lesnar, on the other hand, was pursuing a career in the NFL, his relationship with the company ultimately strained. Because of this, the plan was for them to have one final dream match with Lesnar coming out on top.

But that's not what happened. Both men said "fuck it," went into business for themselves and put on a sub-15 minute clunker, eschewing the power and brute force they were known for in favor of lazy rest-holds and counter moves. Both men were being booed out of the building, forcing Creative to change the ending to have Goldberg winning before both men were laid out with a couple of Stunners courtesy of guest referee Stone Cold Steve Austin. The image below perfectly encapsulates what the end product was like as a whole: cold, unfeeling middle fingers from two disinterested individuals.

And that's all it can take to make wrestling bad. Putting two individuals into a situation they don't give a shit about and asking them to fake it, with neither party doing so.

So What's Dumb Fun and What's Just Plain Dumb?

Any form of entertainment will have a slew of guilty pleasures. There's movies like Troll 2, trashy reality television like The Jersey Shore and books like the Fifty Shades Of Grey series. As expected, wrestling will also have its array of guilty pleasures. Matches/segments/etc. you sit back and make fun of with your friends (insert wrestling fans not having friends joke here). But what makes certain wrestling moments insipid entertainment and others absolute piles of dogshit with no semblance of amusement?

Well, it has to have some form of charm to it. Take for example, The Dungeon of Doom, a WCW stable that existed in the mid-1990s and their feud with Hulk Hogan. The idea and story was so incredibly goofy, but executed with 100% seriousness. As a result, we had funny shit like the Monster Truck Sumo Match, The Doomsday Cage Match, Hulk Hogan being surprised that cave water isn't hot, and above all else, THE YETAYY! (Seriously, how can you look at that monstrosity and not crack up at the stupidity?)

And while we're on the subject of WCW, let's not forget about the company as a whole in 2000. Buff Bagwell's mom on a forklift, Miss Elizabeth being Vince Russo's personal property due to a contract clause, 3 Count and Tank Abbott, David Arquette as World Heavyweight Champion; the list goes on and on and on. WCW 2000 was just one giant shitpost; trolling everyone, whether that was the intention or not doesn't really matter. It's one giant, messy spectacle you can't but simply marvel at. It's an anomaly of dumb fun.

But what happens when there isn't any charm to it? When it isn't fun at all and just becomes a chore to deal with the stupidity. Well, the matches I highlighted above (Hogan/Warrior, Bayley/Bliss and Goldberg/Lesnar) are all great examples. They all just seem to lack any semblance of heart or fun. Pole matches are inherently wacky, but Bayley/Bliss just seemed like an insult. Hogan/Warrior was too much of a slog to find entertaining and there was zero heart for Goldberg/Lesnar, so any hopes of fun are immediately dashed.

That's why they fail where Dungeon of Doom/etc. succeed at being entertaining bad wrestling. No one seems to be having any fun with it. It's what happens when people who take themselves too seriously are told to have some fun. They don't know what the word means, and as a result, the product is dumb and lifeless with no intrinsic value.

The Objective/Subjective Nature of Wrestling

But at the end of the day, it's nigh impossible to outright call any part of wrestling objectively bad. You're always going to find someone who enjoys a match or segment that many might deride. So how do we figure out the line between objectively bad wrestling and something that's just the product of various individuals' opinions? And is there a line at all? That's a tough call, given how entertainment as a whole is almost 100% subjective.

Take for example, the main event of WrestleMania 6: Hulk Hogan vs. Ultimate Warrior. For many, it's one of their all-time favorite matches; an absolute spectacle that features two larger-than-life figures in the world of professional wrestling, the atmosphere absolutely electric. For others, it's an absolute snoozefest that features twenty minutes of plodding in-ring work, ultimately providing no entertainment whatsoever.

And the same can be said for The Rock vs. Hogan at Wrestlemania X8. Some lose themselves in the dreamlike atmosphere and give in to the spectacle, while others scoff at the idea of it and deride the ring work as being stale and unimpressive. It just boils down to what we like as wrestling fans; some live for passionate crowds and an energetic atmosphere, others are in-ring absolutists and many others like a good combination of the two. It's hard to find objectively bad wrestling because there's always going to be one person who enjoys something most hate, whether ironically or unironically.

Wrestling fans as a collective need to come together and realize something: we all have tastes unto ourselves. No one's ever going to 100% agree with someone else and we shouldn't get so defensive about something so intrinsically silly like professional wrestling. It's not worth the stress and aggravation. I know I'm just repeating the same bullshit a lot of people say, but for the most part it's true. Love what you love and understand that some people may not see eye-to-eye with you. And if you do encourage them, do your best not to take it personally when somebody says they don't care for your particular tastes.  Loosen up and enjoy it, people.

But even with that being said, I still stand by my merits that the King Of The Road match is objectively a masterpiece. 

Sources

http://www.sportingnews.com/us/wwe/news/brock-lesnar-wrestlemania-20-goldberg-stone-cold-steve-austin-match-33-34/105jrhoef51vf1lbrf6h3goy6i

ROH Wrestling Episode #356 Recap and Review: 7/16/18

Ever since they announced it two weeks ago, I've been absolutely hyped for this main: a 6-Man Tag Team Gauntlet Match to determine #1 Contendership for The Kingdom's 6-Man Tag Titles. I love me some gauntlet matches, and I love me some tag team wrasslin', so I have no doubt in my mind this will be great.

Opener

The show opens with a promo from The Kingdom, who detail tonight's events. They deride the teams involved, calling them "melvins" (a Kingdom trademark), stating they never had to fight off any conspiracies (another Kingdom trademark). They close by stating they are first and last 6-Man Tag Champs, and when it's all said and done, the titles are staying with them.

Thoughts: A good promo to start the show. The Kingdom are collectively some of the better mic workers in ROH (Taven the obvious standout, while O'Ryan and Marseglia are decent at peppering notable quips), so I'm all ears when they have a microphone. Above all else, they're one of my favorite things in ROH, and I'm glad they have a title, because they sure as hell deserve it.

Kelly Klein vs. Jenny Rose

Following a slap from Rose, the two start the match out with a series of rest holds, jockeying for position. Klein sends Rose into the corner, only for Rose to counter a corner strike with a diving arm drag from the second rope. Klein quickly recovers, briefly distracts the referee while she attacks, gaining the advantage. Rose tries to fight back, but each time she attempts to mounts a comeback, Klein stops it with a lariat.

Klein begins toying with Rose, shoving her back while Rose once again attempts to fight back. This is unsuccessful once again as she's met with a corner clothesline/running big boot combo from Klein. She then picks up Rose in a firewoman's carry, only for Rose to wriggle out of it, deliver a codebreaker and hit Klein with a series of corner forearm strikes. Rose tries for a suplex, Klein blocks, attempts another lariat only for Rose to counter with a german suplex.

Rose spears Klein, who kicks out at 2. Rose then attempts her judo throw finisher, only for Klein to counter, hit her with a snap suplex then choke her out in her End Of The Match guillotine choke for the W.

Thoughts: A pretty decent match, given the time allotted. Both women are some of the better in-ring workers in WOH, especially Klein (give her the belt, damnit). They fulfilled their roles well in this match: Rose playing the workhorse babyface to Klein's powerhouse heel. I really dug the spot where Klein was toying with Rose and mocking the referee's 5-count. A nice little touch of character work there.

Not too much more to say about it. A relatively short, but rather good match.

Backstage Segment

Desperate to find a partner for the 6-Man Tag Gauntlet Match, The Dawgs (Rhett Titus and Will Ferrara), interrupt Cody backstage. They plead for him to give them some money in order to pay off Shane Taylor, who they had approached earlier to be their partner. Cody says his hands are tied and he has no money. The Dawgs mention they'll ask Marty Scurll for money, which incenses Cody, leading him to give a large amount of cash to The Dawgs.

Thoughts: The Dawgs are honestly one of the most entertaining things in wrestling right now, and these backstage segments are part of the reason why. They play the role of dipshit heels so well; their chemistry with one another is off the charts. Plus, Cody's great as always. I love how incensed he gets when anyone tries to put superiority on anyone else in Bullet Club besides him. Little things like that show why he's one of the best characters in wrestling today.

An entertaining prelude to the main event.

6-Man Tag Team Gauntlet Match

The team of The Dawgs and Shane and Johnathan Gresham, Alex Shelley and LSG are the two teams in the match. LSG and Taylor are the first two in the ring and LSG immediately starts peppering Taylor with strikes; unphased, Taylor hits LSG with a running knee strike. Titus and Gresham are tagged in. Gresham attempts to build some momentum with corner rolling elbow and a springboard headscissors, but Titus halts it with a haymaker and tags in Ferrara.

Shelley is tagged in, with Titus coming soon after. Titus nails Shelley with a slingshot shoulderblock as Ferrara takes out LSG and Gresham. Titus then catapults Ferrara into Shelley, who hits him with a flying clothesline. Taylor is tagged back in and drills Shelley with a headbutt and consecutive knee strikes. After planting Gresham with uranage/running splash combo, Taylor tags in Ferrara. Looking to escape further punishment, Shelley hits a DDT/reverse STO combo on Ferrara and Taylor with an enguiri assist from Gresham.

LSG gets the hot tag and he makes quick work of The Dawgs, then swan dives onto The Dawgs and Taylor on the outside. Back in the ring, LSG rolls up Ferrara, eliminating The Dawgs and Taylor. Silas Young, Beer City Bruiser are the next teams in. Following a quick exchange between the two teams, Milonas catches an LSG plancha attempt and the action gets back in the ring. Following a front dropkick/sidewalk slam combo, the two try to double-team Shelley, who evades the attack.

As Bruiser and Milonas go to the outside, Young enters hits Shelley with full nelson knee strike/cutter combo. Gresham is back in and the two jockey for position. Young drop toe-holds Gresham onto the ropes and his team go to town on Gresham with some triple-team offense. After Bruiser and Milonas work Gresham over for a bit, Young is tagged back in. After a well-timed DDT counter from Gresham, LSG gets the hot tag once again, single-handledy taking on Young, Bruiser and Milonas.

LSG's momentum is halted as Bruiser and Milonas plant him with a hanging spinebuster/leg drop combo. Shelley breaks up the pin attempt only to be met with a backbreaker/lariat combo from Young, who attempts the same thing on Gresham, only to be met with a german suplex. Bruiser and Milonas attempt their Last Call superplex/frog splash combo on LSG, only for all 3 three to counter it. Milonas comes crashing down and LSG hits the 450 splash, eliminating Young and his lot.

SoCal Uncensored (Christopher Daniels, Frankie Kazarian and Scorpio Sky) are the next team and they take advantage of their prone opponents, laying waste to them as Kazarian starts out as the first man in for his team. SCU absolutely work LSG over as Sky is tagged in. Following a leaping super hurricanrana from Sky, Daniels and Kazarian hit LSG with their Celebrity Rehab (flipping back suplex/codebreaker) tag finisher, eliminating his team.

The surprising combo of Kenny King, Eli Isom and Chuckie T are the last team in the gauntlet. Chuckie is the first man in for his team as he works over Daniels with a jumping knee strike, a backdrop and a couple of lariats. Sky gets tagged in, then King followed by Kazarian. Following some quick combo offense from King and Chuckie, Isom is tagged in. However, just as he gets in, SCU makes immediate work of Isom and begins their triple-team assault on him.

Isom manages to cut the beatdown short as King gets the hot tag, who nails Sky with a chin-checker/rolling enzuguiri combo, then plants Kazarian with a spinebuster. King and Chuckie try for some tandem offense only for Daniels to break it up. Isom is tagged in, and he and his team swap corner strikes on SCU. Following a slingshot hurricanrana from Kazarian to King and a somersault tope from Sky to Chuckie, Daniels the Angel's Wings on Isom, only for Isom to counter with an overhook backdrop pin (I guess), eliminating SCU and gaining the #1 Contendership for his team.

Thoughts: I always love gauntlet matches, and this one here is part of the reason why. There's always so much drama and so many surprises in them, and there were plenty here. My favorite part about the match were the unlikely trios. Gresham/Shelley/LSG were a nice pairing, and they told a decent story in this match. They tried to run the gauntlet and were almost successful, only for SCU to cut their momentum short.

And while we're on unlikely trios, who would've thought that the team of King, Chuckie and Isom would be the ones to come out on top? A fair amount of twists and turns in this match. As a whole, it was fantastic. Couldn't have asked more from a main event.

Overall

A damn good episode, if only for the main event. While I liked everything else (The Kingdom's promo and the backstage segment between The Dawgs and Cody were good, plus Klein and Rose put on a good showing), this gauntlet match was the absolute best part about it. Just a damn good time the whole way through. If it's the only reason for you to watch the episode, I honestly don't blame. It's that good.

An immediate watch for sure. Check it out right now.

ROH Best In The World Recap and Review: 6/29/18

To say I was hyped for this PPV would a large understatement (given I'm an ROH fanboy, but it would still be true even if I wasn't). The card is stacked as fuck, so let's not waste any more time and unpack this bad boy.

The Kingdom (Matt Taven, TK O’Ryan and Vinny Marseglia) vs. Los Ingobernables De Japon (EVIL, SANADA and BUSHI), World 6-Man Tag Team Championship Match

EVIL and O’Ryan start the match out. The Kingdom try for some double-team offense, but to no avail. EVIL gets a thumb to the eyes for his troubles as O’Ryan tags in Taven, who immediately is planted with a sidewalk slam. SANADA is tagged in; after hitting a back elbow/standing moonsault combo, he and Taven jockey for position for a bit before BUSHI is tagged in. Marseglia is tagged in and immediately tries to remove BUSHI’s mask. Not long after, all six men brawl in the ring.

As LIJ are sent to the outside, Taven teases a tope but then taunts his opponents with their leader Tetsuya Naito’s signature “Tranquilo” pose. SANADA responds with a sliding dropkick, then hip-tosses O’Ryan onto Taven. EVIL is tagged back in and just when he tries build up momentum, The Kingdom counter with a triple-team flapjack onto the ropes. The Kingdom then start working EVIL over, getting the upper hand for the moment.

After receiving much abuse, EVIL finally manages to tag in SANADA, who goes to work on The Kingdom with a series of dropkicks then a dual Paradise Lock dropkick to O’Ryan and Taven. Following a distraction from Marseglia, SANADA is knocked off the top rope and The Kingdom attempt their Rock Star Supernova triple-team powerbomb finisher. SANADA counters with a hurricanrana and he and EVILattempt their Magic Killer finisher on Taven, who counters with a hurricanrana of his own.

After O’Ryan spears EVIL, Taven connects with a running knee to SANADA. After a kick-out. Taven attempts his Climax finisher; SANADA counters and tags BUSHI in, who missile dropkicks Taven then hits Taven and O’Ryan with a double hurricanrana. LIJ then nail Taven with some triple-team offense, only for O’Ryan to break it up, allowing The Kingdom answer back with some triple-team offense of their own (a particularly impressive german suplex/springboard elbow drop combo from Taven and O’Ryan).

The action breaks down once again as EVIL breaks up the pinfall as O’Ryan nails him with a pele kick; Sanada attempts to lock O’Ryan in the dragon sleeper, only to be met with Taven’s Kick Of The King. Despite Marseglia being momentarily subdued, Taven and O’Ryan still manage to hit BUSHI with Rock Star Supernova to secure the victory and retain their titles.

Thoughts: Despite the somewhat abrupt finish, it was still a fun match and a nice way to start the show. The counters and triple-team were all crisply executed; exactly what you need in a good 6-man tag match. It was a much more grounded tag title match, focusing on ring psychology and double/triple-team maneuvers rather than over-the-top spots; it was certainly a treat to see, though I’m not entirely opposed to the former.

A solid opener to what should be a great show. The Kingdom are a great 6-Man Team, and they proved why once again with this match. Here’s hoping they keep the belts for a while, because they definitely deserve it.

Flip Gordon vs. Bully Ray

Ray tries sneak up on Gordon to start the match; Gordon evades, nailing a combo of superkicks, then a spear and a slew of punches. This opening flurry of offense culminates with a pescado from Gordon to Ray on the outside. Gordon continues it with a somersault tope then an outside springboard forearm, Ray in a state of utter disarray at the moment. Back in the ring, Gordon gets Ray up for a samoan drop, then connects with a standing shooting star press/second-rope moonsault combo.

Ray counters Gordon’s offense, taking some time to collect himself and absorb the heat he’s receiving. He then attempts a vader bomb, only for Gordon to move out of the way. Gordon attempts his Star-Spangled Stunner finisher, only for Ray to counter with a low-blow, ending the match in disqualification. He then proceeds to beat down Gordon and other young ROH talent before Colt Cabana comes down to the ring to break it up.

Thoughts: I’m not really a fan of this new Bully Ray angle, but if it gets Flip Gordon over as an in-ring talent then I’m all for it. He’s really grown on me as a performer and he deserves the spotlight he gets. Plus, Ray still manages to draw a huge reaction from the crowd, so I guess it’s working. Not an interesting story, but decent display of Gordon’s in-ring ability nonetheless.

Oedo Tai (Hana Kimura, Kagetsu and HZK) and Kelly Klein vs. Jenny Rose, Mayu Iwatani, Tenille Dashwood and Sumie Sakai

Sakai and Kagetsu start the match out; Kagetsu throws numerous strikes and attempts to get Sakai up for her samoan driver finisher, only for Sakai to counter with attempt on her Smash Mouse finisher. Kagetsu and Sakai trade pinfall counters before Kagetsu rolls through and tags Kimura in. Sakai tags Dashwood in; Kimura taunts Dashwood, who responds with a tilt-a-whirl russian legsweep. She then tags in Rose, who nails Kimura with a bridging fisherman suplex.

Kimura dropkicks Rose and tags in Klein, who nails Rose with a lariat. Rose breaks out numerous pinfall attempts; Iwatani and HZK are tagged in. HZK throws elbows and Iwatani responds with a sling blade. Sakai is tagged and the two double-team HZK. Kagetsu trips up Sakai and the heels take out the faces, leaving her and HZK to double-team Sakai. Klein is tagged in and distracts the ref while Kagetsu and HZK continue the Sakai double-team.

Klein continues working Sakai over until she’s met with a DDT; Sakai tags in Dashwood who goes to work clotheslining all of her opponents. She sends Klein to the apron and hits her with a rope-hung neckbreaker. Kagetsu and Kimura attempt to double-team Dashwood, only for her drop toe-hold Kimura and deliver her signature Taste of Tenille corner crossbody. Dashwood then hits Klein with a diving crossbody after hanging her up in the rope with a tarantula hold.

Dashwood dodges another Kimura/Kagetsu double-team and tags in Iwatani, who missile dropkicks both of them. Kimura is then met with a butterfly suplex/frog splash combo from Dashwood and Iwatani. After a pinfall break-up, Oedo-Tai gangs up on Iwatani while Klein distracts the referee. Kimura gets Iwatani up in a vertical suplex, which Iwatani counters with guillotine choke. Kimura, however, powers out and delivers a delayed vertical suplex; Iwatani kicks out.

Chaos erupts as members of both teams brawl on the outside. Sakai goes up top for diving crossbody to the outside. Back in the ring, Iwatani plants Kimura with a bridging dragon suplex and picks up the win for her team.

Thoughts: A decent exhibition tag match that showed off the talent of both the women of STARDOM and Women of Honor. If I had to pick an overall standout from this match, it’d be Iwatani or Dashwood on the face side and Kagetsu for the heels, though to be honest, each competitor looked great out there considering the time each of them spent in the ring.

I like the partnership between ROH and STARDOM because it works two-fold; it exposes ROH fans to STARDOM and vice versa (as predicted, but whatever). Here’s hoping they keep it up.

Kenny King vs. Austin Aries

The two start the match jockeying for position with a series of rest holds, with neither side really getting the advantage. Aries manages to get King up over the ropes, only for King to slide right back in to block a suicide dive attempt. The two counter each other’s finishers before King hits Aries with a backbreaker/lariat combo. After a series of legsweeps, King puts Aries in a grounded abdominal stretch/chin lock combo.

Another legsweep on the outside, the two get back in the ring. Aries gets out of a chin lock and dropkicks the ropes just as King attempts to springboard. He then delivers a diving double axe handle to King on the outside, then whips into the guardrail and throws King back in the ring and hits him with a slingshot somersault senton. He then snapmares King and deliver a second-rope elbow drop to the back of King’s head, seemingly in control.

King rolls to the outside, baiting Aries, who is met with a springboard blockbuster. After corner back elbow and an exploder suplex, King seemingly has the advantage. This changes after an eye rake and ear clap from Aries, who then puts him the Last Chancery. King manages wriggle out of it and get to the outside, only for Aries catch him in a rope-hung neckbreaker. Aries attempts the suicide dive once again only to be met with a last-second enzuguiri from King.

King gets Aries up for his Royal Flush finisher, but Aries uses some mind games and convinces King to get the both of them back in the ring. Aries attempts for a small package, but King kicks out, who delivers a tossing variation of the Royal Flush; Aries gets his hand on the bottom rope. He tries to leave only to be met with a slingshot corkscrew plancha from King. He teases hitting Aries with one of his belts (a callback to Aries’ World TV Title match with Young), only to drop it, allowing Aries nail him with a brainbuster.

Back in the ring, Aries kicks out of a small package attempt, hits a rolling elbow then plants King with another brainbuster for the W.

Thoughts: A damn good match, but that’s to be expected from performers as talented as King and Aries. The back-and-forths these two had were excellent; it really did seem like it could’ve gone either way as no one really had control for that long in this. That also really speaks for the chemistry these two have with one another, having previously faced each other in TNA/Impact wrestling.

And apart from the in-ring work, the ring psychology/storytelling was also really good. They went at it with mind games, baiting each other when they could and pouncing when the other one fell for it. I dug the spot when King picked up one of Aries’ belts and teased hitting him with it; as I mentioned before, a nice callback to Aries’ World TV Title match with Silas Young. Another storytelling spot I really liked is when Aries talked King out of giving him the Royal Flush on the outside. At that point, it seemed like King was putty in Aries’ hands.

So yeah, this match was really fucking good. It provided a good balance between crisp in-ring action with solid storytelling.

Jay Lethal vs. KUSHIDA

It’s a battle for leverage at the beginning as the two competitors exchange various rest holds and counters. They bounce off the ropes for a bit before Lethal hip-tosses KUSHIDA, hoping for his signature cartwheel dropkick. KUSHIDA dodges and delivers one of his own, sending Lethal outside then nailing him with three consecutive somersault topes. Back in the ring, KUSHIDA hits Lethal with three consecutive diving double axe handles then a standing moonsault; Lethal kicks out.

KUSHIDA wriggles out of a suplex attempt and tries for a handspring back elbow, but Lethal counter with a kick to KUSHIDA’s legs. He then goes town on KUSHIDA, targeting the legs. He continues this attack on the legs with a cloverleaf variation and a series of legbreakers. He tries for the figure-four leglock, but KUSHIDA blocks; Lethal sends him to the ring apron and hits him with a springboard dropkick. Lethal is successful with two consecutive suicide dives but KUSHIDA blocks the third attempt with a fujiwara armbar.

Back in the ring, KUSHIDA delivers a series of arm-targeted to kicks to Lethal. He then counters a Lethal Combination with a roll-up pin attempt, only for Lethal to kick out, this time successful with his second Lethal Combination attempt. Teasing a figure-four, Lethal goes up top for his Hail To The King elbow drop. KUSHIDA gets back to his feet and Lethal evades him. KUSHIDA then attempts a rolling thunder DDT, only for Lethal to catch him.

Lethal blocks another KUSHIDA handspring attempt with a rolling torture rack slam and then goes up top once again. KUSHIDA catches Lethal in a cross armbreaker; Lethal fights out of it slaps on the figure-four, but KUSHIDA gets to the ropes. The two then deliver a series of shoot kicks, with Lethal targeting KUSHIDA’s legs and KUSHIDA targeting Lethal’s arms. Lethal bicycle kicks KUSHIDA, only to be met with a pele kick.

KUSHIDA delivers another kick to Lethal’s arms; he sets himself up in the corner only to be met with a bicycle kick/enzuguiri combo from Lethal. A Lethal Injection attempt is then countered with a Hoverboard Lock. Lethal gets up as KUSHIDA attempts his Back To The Future finisher; Lethal rolls through and attempts the figure-four once again but KUSHIDA counters with another BTTF attempt, but counters that with a cutter. Lethal finally hits the Lethal Injection and picks up the victory.

Thoughts: I know I’m one to gush and exaggerate about the quality of matches (what smark isn’t?), but trust me when I say this match was damn near perfect. Each sequence, each counter was delivered with the utmost precision, with nary a botch in sight, if at all. The chemistry these two men have is simply remarkable. It seems like they’ve been wrestling each other for their entire careers, that’s how good it is.

And the in-ring storytelling. OH. MY. GOD. THE IN-RING STORYTELLING (Andrew sneaks away to fap quick, then returns). Lethal attacking KUSHIDA’s legs, KUSHIDA attacking Lethal’s arms; you literally couldn’t ask for anything better. The way these two told this story might as well have been written by an Oscar-winning screenwriter. That kind of dedication to ring psychology is something you don’t see too much of nowadays.

And while we’re on the subject of storytelling, another facet of the match I loved was KUSHIDA taunting Lethal. He refused the standard ROH handshake (only to deliver it when Lethal was prone), did the diving double axe handle while mocking Lethal’s Randy Savage tribute and delivered three somersault topes, seemingly laughing at Lethal’s trio of suicide dives and taking it up a notch.

Another part of storytelling I loved was Lethal matching KUSHIDA’s cockiness. When working the legs over, he could’ve gone for multiple submissions, but chose instead to either attempt a pinfall or go for the Hail To The King. And when delivering his suicide dives, he was a bit more deliberate and delivered them with much more swagger, really morphing into a Randy Savage/Ric Flair combination.

I’ve written WAY too much about this match than I probably should have, so I’ll just end it right here. Go watch it. Right now.

Hangman Page vs. Punishment Martinez, Baltimore Street Fight for the ROH World Television Championship

Before Bobby Cruise can even finish announcing their names, Martinez and Page start throwing clobbering blows at each other. Page clotheslines Martinez over the top rope and the two brawl on the outside. Martinez tries to get the action back in the ring only to be met with a suicide dive from Page. After throwing Martinez into the barricade, Page then reaches for a table underneath the ring. Martinez stops him halfway then catches a breath while Page gets back in the ring with a chair.

Back in the ring, Page tosses the chair at Martinez, then sets it up in the corner. The two counter each other’s irish whips before Page manages to toss him back-first into the chair. While Martinez is out on the floor, Page attempts for his patented apron shooting star press. Martinez dodges, powerbombs Page on the ring apron then chokeslams him into the guardrail. And just as they get back in the ring, the action immediately returns outside as Martinez drives Page into the guardrails.

Martinez sets up an array of chair and attempts the South of Heaven chokeslam, but Page counters. Martinez then irish whips Page into a chair near the guardrail; Page manages to dodge a Martinez strike and suplex him off the guardrail. Back in the ring, Page tries to continue his momentum but is met with a Martinez lariat, who brings a chair into the ring. Martinez tries to slam Page down only for him to counter it into a cradle tombstone piledriver; Martinez kicks out.

On the apron, Martinez counters a Rite of Passage with a curb stomp. Back in the ring, he zipties Page and curb stomps into a chair; Page kicks out. Martinez sets a table up in the ring and attempts another chokeslam, which Page fights out of. Breaking the ziptie, Page goes to the outside and spears Martinez through a table, then delivers a moonsault to the outside. But as soon as they get back in the ring, Martinez then bicycle kicks Page out onto his chair structure, then just as quickly gets him back in.

Martinez brings in a bag of thumbtacks to the ring, hoping to powerbomb Page onto them. Page counters, then backdrops Martinez onto the thumbtacks. He tries for the Rite Of Passage, but Martinez counters and chokeslams Page through a table, securing the victory and retaining his new World Television Title.

Thoughts: While the ending was weird and somewhat abrupt, I quite liked this match. Eschewing the technical prowess of the match before it, this was just a straight-up brawl. Two dudes beating the piss out of each other from bell to bell. Martinez and Page are two of the best brawlers in wrestling right now, and they proved their prowess with this match.

The spots that were delivered were brutal and sold to absolute perfection. My favorite one has to be apron powerbomb/guardrail chokeslam spot; both men sold it like a million bucks. Outside of that, I loved the powerslam counter into a cradle tombstone piledriver onto the chair as well as the patented Page moonsault to the outside. You know it’s coming, but you always pop no matter the circumstance.

Not too much more to say about it. The story was simple, but effective: have two dudes who hate each beat the living shit out of one another through increasingly violent means. Add title gold onto it, and you can’t lose. While the ending was weird, this was nonetheless a great match.

The Briscoes (Mark and Jay) vs. The Young Bucks (Matt and Nick Jackson), ROH World Tag Team Championship

Nick and Mark start the match out attempting to gain leverage over the other. Nick delivers a springboard somersault arm drag to Mark and then attempts a dropkick, which Mark blocks. Nick takes down Jay, who quickly recovers and assists Mark in irish whipping him to the floor. Nick nails Jay with a side kick and evades Mark back in the ring, only to be met with a back elbow from Jay. Matt dropkicks Mark, Jay throws punches at the two teams square up.

The Bucks superkick The Briscoes, then hit them with an elevated dropkick/crossbody combo. Matt is tagged in and the two hit their dual hip toss/backflip dropkick on Jay. They then try to hit their headscissors/dropkick combo, only to be met with a couple of Jay Briscoe clotheslines. Matt gets hit with the Redneck Boogie (Razor’s Edge/neckbreaker combo), but kicks out and The Briscoes continue working him over.

On the outside, Matt superkicks Jay then dodges a sliding dropkick from Mark and hits him with a somersault cutter off the apron. He tags Nick in, who delivers a springboard corkscrew plancha to The Briscoes; Nick then brings his trademark hot tag offense to the outside. The Bucks then deliver dual suicide dives to them; as the action gets back inside, Nick hits Jay with a corner knee strike. He attempts a superplex, only for Mark to momentarily trap him in a rear naked choke.

After Jay plants Nick with a lariat, Mark hits Matt with a wrecking ball dropkick, then an apron blockbuster. The Briscoes then try for a super Redneck Boogie, only for Matt to pull Jay off the apron; Nick then counters Mark’s crucifix powerbomb with a super hurricanrana. Matt is tagged in and he immediately throws punches at Jay and Mark; The Briscoes try to double-team and Matt counters with a double leaping clothesline. Matt goes off the ropes only to be met with a death valley driver from Jay.

After Jay taunts Nick, Matt superkicks him, then Nick superkicks Mark. The Bucks attempt more superkicks but are met with superkicks from The Briscoes. Matt and Nick respond with superkicks of their own and just as they’re about to follow up, The Briscoes plant them with dual clotheslines. Jay spikes Matt with his Jay Driller finisher, but Nick breaks up the pinfall. The Briscoes then set up Matt for the Doomsday Device, only for Nick to nail Mark with a springboard cutter and Matt to roll up Jay, who kicks out.

The Bucks pull off a springboard variation of the Doomsday Device, but Jay kicks out. They then deliver More Bang For Your Buck, only for Mark to Froggy Bow the referee. While the referee is down, Mark brings a chair in, only to be met with a double superkick from The Bucks. They hit Jay with the Meltzer Driver only for Mark to break it up. They try for a Meltzer driver again, only for Mark to throw a chair at Nick and Jay to plant Matt with a Jay Driller on the chair; surprisingly, Matt kicks out.

Despite The Bucks putting up a fight, The Briscoes deliver a super Redneck Boogie to Matt to pick up the W and retain their titles.

Thoughts: There’s a reason I call these two teams my absolute favorites, and it’s because of matches like this. While it may not fit the traditional mold, this is still a damn good example of when tag team wrestling is at its best. The sequences they pulled off were mind-blowing; a spot in particular I’d like to point out is the moment right before the finale. I have it detailed above, so here are the cliff notes: Bucks pull off Briscoes’ offense, then their own, Briscoes play dirty, but Matt fights through.

Spots like that are an example of the picture-perfect chemistry these two teams have with one another. They’ve faced each other several times before, but every time they do it somehow feels fresh and exciting. That’s because they work so well with one another, they know how to change it up and make it unique, topping what they did before. I can watch these guys duke it out 1000 times and never get bored, and that really speaks to how talented they are as teams.

Was it the overall best tag team match of the year (so far)? No, but it’s still great and deserves to be talked about. You’re really doing yourself a disservice by not partaking in one of the best long-running tag teams feuds wrestling has to offer.

Cody vs. Marty Scurll vs. Dalton Castle, ROH World Championship

Right off the bat, Scurll attacks Cody and sends Castle to the outside. The two trade blows and jaw-jack for a brief spell for Cody goes to the outside. Castle irish whips him into the ring barricade then gives Cody a running knee strike. Scurll attempts to get Castle back in the ring, only to be met with a rebound hurricanrana off the ring apron. Back in the ring, Castle starts working Scurll over while Cody watches on the outside.

Cody tries to springboard dropkick Castle, who moves out of the way and he hits Scurll instead. The two go back-and-forth, Castle landing a few strikes and Cody planting him with a rope-hung flatliner. They get to the outside, where they are met by Scurll on the ring apron. He superkicks Castle, delivers a tornado DDT to Cody. Back in the ring, Cody pleads for mercy from Scurll; the two throw chops and forearms before Cody pulls off a tossing vertical suplex on Scurll.

Castle gets back in and starts unloading on the two with a series of knees and elbows, tossing Scurll to the outside while leaving him and Cody alone in the ring to duke it out. Castle places Cody on the top rope, hits him with an apron knee strike before tossing him from the second rope. Scurll breaks up a Castle submission attempt with his patented Crossface Chickenwing, then Cody slaps a figure-four leglock on Castle, who gets to the ropes and leaves Scurll and Cody alone in the ring together.

Scurll tries to lock in the Chickenwing, but Cody counters with a DDT. Frustrated, he exits the ring and grabs the ROH Title belt, looking to hit Scurll with it. When the referee is distracted, Cody attempts to low-blow Scurll, who blocks, teases a finger break but slaps him instead. Following a distraction from Brandi Rhodes, Cody low-blow Scurll then attempts a small package pinfall; Scurll kicks out. Cody calls for his signature ring and demand Scurll kiss it; he obliges, then not long after breaks Cody’s fingers.

He takes the ring from Cody and attempts to punch Castle with it, only for Castle to counter it with his Bangarang finisher. The NWA World Heavyweight Champion Nick Aldis, at ringside the whole time, pulls the referee out of the ring, a nod to his possible title match with Cody at All In. After Aldis tosses The Boys around, Cody hits him with a springboard plancha. With the referee distracted, Scurll hits Castle with the ROH title belt; Cody then pulls the referee out of the ring to break up the pinfall attempt.

The three men trade roll-ups, then strikes for a brief respite. Scurll teases a superkick to Castle only to stomp on Cody fingers, sending to the ring apron. Castle knocks him off, then he and Scurll throw clobbering blows at each other. Cody brings Scurll’s signature bag of white powder into the ring; Scurll smacks the powder into his, but Cody is still able drill him with the Cross Rhodes. Castle tosses Cody out of the ring and attempts the pinfall; Scurll kicks out.

Scurll counters a Bangarang attempt, then locks in the Chickenwing. Cody breaks it up, attempts the Cross Rhodes, only for Scurll to counter with one of his own. Castle then hits Scurll with the Bangarang to pick up the W and retain his title.

Thoughts: Going into this match, I had some nagging doubts. Given there wasn’t that much time left in the show, I feared the match would be quick and empty, ending abruptly and not being allowed to breathe. While it was quick, I was dead wrong about my other suspicions, because hot damn they managed to pull off a great match, all things considered. They managed to jam pack a whole mess of action in the small time window given.

What I liked most about this match was the story being told between Scurll and Cody. The way they interacted with each other was brilliant. Granted, allegiances are usually always thown out the window in triple-threat matches, but this one felt different. Each time they faced off, you could tell the relationship is fracturing and it’s only a matter of time before one turns on the other. But let’s not take anything away from Castle. He fulfilled his role and then some as the babyface champion determined to take on all comers in order to hold onto his title.

There were two particular sequences I loved: the double submission attempt on Castle and the spot before the finale where three men traded roll-ups and strikes. They were executed with crisp precision, which to just how well these guys move inside a ring.

Was it the best world title match? No, but still pretty damn good all things considered.

Overall

A great show from start to finish. While not as good as Supercard (one of my favorites of the year so far), it still manages to be an absolute delight and was definitely better than a lot of other PPVs this year. Match of the night by far goes to Lethal/KUSHIDA, though Briscoes/Young Bucks and the main event definitely managed to be great, rounding out the top three.

It’s honestly one of the best shows I’ve seen all year. It absolutely fits the description of being well-rounded. The negatives were minute at best; the only thing I can muster up is that the endings for some of the matches were a little weird. Other than that, I can’t anything bad about this show. Do yourselves a favor and check it out ASAP.